I think you’ll agree with me when I say, telling your elderly parents they must give up their independence and give up the car is NOT a conversation most of us want to have.
Well, it turns out broaching that subject can be far less painful when you understand all the elements at play and can calmly and effectively find alternative solutions, so you know they are safe and you gain peace of mind.
Today I’m sharing with you the 8 warning signs your elderly parents should stop driving and all the information you need to start planning the process of your parents giving up their driving privileges.
HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR ELDERLY PARENTS SHOULD STOP DRIVING –
“I don’t feel safe driving anymore,” that’s what my friend’s father said to her one day after being out on the road for a short trip to the grocery store. She was shocked. Could she be so lucky that she was going to bypass the whole ‘I don’t think you should be driving’ conversation?
Her father didn’t feel safe and her mother never drove. She circumvented the entire issue with one simple proclamation from her father.
But many of the people I talk with regularly have not been so fortunate.
They worry and wring their hand regularly at the thought of their aging parent behind the wheel of a car.
According to the CDC and the elderly driving statistics available in 2016 there were 42 million licensed drivers aged 65 and older which is a 56% increase from 1999.
As a result, 7, 400 older adults (aged 65+) were killed and more than 290,000 were injured. This averages out to 20 older adults killed and 794 injured in crashes every day.
Although not all seniors behind the wheel are unsafe drivers, it is common for older adults to have vision or hearing problems, slower reactions, and health conditions that make driving safely more difficult or dangerous.
According to a study conducted by RAND in 2007, by 2025, seniors 65 and older will represent 25% of the total population of drivers on the road. So, it begs the question: How greater risk do they pose than the general population of drivers?
Despite what most people believe, that older drivers account for more fatal accidents than the general population, they really only have a 16% percent greater likelihood to cause a crash over adult drivers according to the RAND study. Although significant the driving statistics for elders speak for themselves – not as much as one would think and not nearly as deadly as teen drivers.
Now that you’re armed with the data, what do you do if you feel your elderly parent should stop driving and should not be on the road?
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR ELDERLY PARENTS SHOULD STOP DRIVING?
Most parents are going to feel defensive about this topic so tread slowly and carefully.
If you’re unlucky enough to have a parent who insists their driving abilities are as good as when they got their license, realize this will require more than one conversation and possibly showing them the physical evidence to the contrary.
The best approach you can take is to start looking for warning signs early on. This way you’ll know if you need to approach the subject sooner rather than late and if they, in fact, have deficits or not.
Educate yourself on the bodily changes your parents are going through that make it riskier to be out on the road. Use this information to help you make the assessment needed to approach the subject with them.
WHAT MAKES DRIVING RISKIER FOR OLDER ADULTS?
Normal age-related changes in the body can increase the risk of having an accident. They include both physical and cognitive changes.
PHYSICAL CHANGES
- Decreased vision, impaired hearing, and slower reflexes make it harder to see, hear, and reasons for other cars and pedestrians.
- Pain or stiffness in the neck or back makes it difficult to turn and see clearly when changing lanes, backing up or checking for pedestrians.
- Leg pain or weakness makes it harder to switch between the gas and brake pedals and press hard enough to come to a complete stop.
- General loss of strength can make fast, accurate steering more difficult.
COGNITIVE CHANGES
- Slower reaction time means taking more time to notice merging cars or responding when the car ahead slows or stops.
- Multi-tasking ability decreases so it’s more difficult to drive safely and keep track of road signs, signals, other cars, pedestrians, and other normal distractions.
Even with all the facts, convincing your elderly parents to stop driving is not an easy task. It’s a threat to their independence, so they’re most likely not going to hand over the car keys willingly. But for the sake of their safety and others on the road, it might be time to face facts.
So how do you know the time has come to talk to your elderly parents about their driving?
HERE ARE THE 9 SIGNS IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR THE DISCUSSION
- An increase in accidents and/or tickets. It’s common for people to have a few fender-benders or get a ticket or two through their travels; but if your elderly parent is experiencing either more frequently, it’s a sign their driving abilities have decreased. An increase in accidents or tickets can mean that their eyesight or hearing is failing or that they’re becoming confused. It can also mean that their reflexes and ability to make quick decisions are on the decline.
- Increased damage to the car. Seniors often avoid telling family members about their accidents and tickets for fear of having their keys taken away. If you spot damage to the car like unusual dents, dings, or scratches, ask about them; especially if it is accompanied by fresh bumps and bruises to your parent.
- Slow reflexes and reactions. Driving requires you to be able to make split-second decisions and react to your surroundings, especially other drivers. If your elderly parent’s reaction times are slowing down, it may be time to become concerned about their driving. How do they respond to loud noises or sudden movements? This can be a tell-tale sign.
- Confusion and distraction. If your parent is easily distracted during conversation, while completing a chore or task, or is rapidly jumping from one conversation to the next, they may be having some cognitive issues. This short attention span can cause them to drift into other lanes while driving or be slow to notice a stoplight or stop sign.
- Loss of vision or hearing. Both senses are vital to safe driving so if either is declining it could put your parent in danger behind the wheel. Prescription lenses and hearing aids can certainly help the situation, but only if they wear them. And there may come a time when even these devices no longer help the situation.
- Declining communication skills. Driving isn’t just about seeing the road and reacting to the situation; it’s also important to be able to communicate with other drivers through the use of turn signals and motions. And it’s imperative to be able to communicate with police officers if they are pulled over or need assistance. They have to be able to ask for directions and understand how to follow them if they are lost. Drivers also need to be able to communicate with a 911 operator if they need assistance effectively.
- Their driving skills are declining, and passengers are scared. One of the best ways to know if your parent can still manage to drive is to ride with them. Does their driving scare you or make you nervous? Would you feel safe with your children in the car? How do they respond to other drivers? Is their reaction time good or is it slowing down?
- Driving at night makes them nervous. If your parent has become reluctant to drive at night, it’s a sign to pay close attention to their overall driving skills.
- They come home frazzled or scared. The day my father came home and proclaimed he didn’t feel safe on the road any longer was the same day he found himself surrounded by speeding drivers and felt he had no way to get away from them. Instead he found himself trying to keep up. In the end he was frightened and anxious – two things that lend themselves to crashes. If you find yourself finding your parents in similar circumstances, driving is most likely taking a significant toll on their piece of mind.
If your elderly parents are exhibiting most or all of these signs, it might be time to have a conversation with them. Before sitting down to talk to them, keep a few things in mind:
- They are going to be concerned about losing their independence, so it’s going to be a difficult discussion. Think about how you might feel in their shows and approach them with respect and love.
- You will need to approach the topic calmly, without anger or frustration, and provide examples of why you think it’s time for them to stop driving.
- Get the family involved in the discussion, so they don’t think it’s just you. If they believe that everyone is concerned about their safety they may be more willing to listen.
- It may take more than one conversation so be prepared for this. Comment on their driving once or twice before sitting them down for a discussion. This may help them to start thinking about things on their own.
- Come up with alternate transportation plans before having a discussion. They need to know there will be other ways for them to get around. Let them know they can use Uber or Lyft, take a bus, or come up with a family schedule for who will drive them on which days.
If they still aren’t open to giving up their car and keys, it may be time for some tough love in order to protect them and keep other drivers safe.
IDEAS TO GET YOUR ELDERLY PARENTS OFF THE ROAD IF THEY WON’T DO IT THEMSELVES
- Ask their doctor for a note that you can take to the DMV. The DMV can then request a elder driver to be retested before renewing a driver’s license, or they can revoke a driver’s license.
- Purchase the Moto Safety Tracker. Originally intended for teenage drivers, the Moto Safety Tracker uses a GPS tracker to monitor the driver’s vehicle location and driving behaviors. This tracker gives families peace of mind and valuable data to make better decisions about when to have a parent stop driving.
- Use Alzheimer’s or dementia to your advantage. If your parent is starting to lose their memory, remove the car and keys from their home. If they happen to ask about the car, distract them until they forget about it and move on to another conversation.
- Misplace the car keys on purpose. Take the keys when your parent is napping or not paying attention. You can then pretend they’re lost and offer to drive them whenever they need to go instead.
- Tell them that a friend or family member needs to “borrow” the car or that it needs to go in for repairs. This will get the car away from the house for an extended period of time, keeping them from having access to it.
Keeping the car away from your elderly parent, even if just for a few weeks, and providing them with other options for getting around will help them to see that they don’t really need to drive to still feel independent and safe!
USING YOUR STATES LAWS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE – ELDERLY DRIVING LAWS BY STATE
Because of the recent rash of senior citizen caused accidents and due to an increasing number of senior drivers on our streets and highways, many states have developed special tools, programs and resources to assist older adults and their families to better manage safe driving.
The AAA Senior Driving Site has the resources you need segregated by state so you can quickly access and see the different laws and resources available to keep your loved one and others sharing the road with them safe from collisions. Check out AAA’s site to see what applies in your state.
CONCLUSION
When driving we all want to be safe. Despite the recent hype about elderly drivers, not all seniors pose a significant risk to themselves or others. But knowing the warning signs and resources available in your state can help you make the right decision about whether your loved one should be on the road.
Which tip are you planning on implementing first?
If you feel you need help with this issue, give us a call at 352-766-5274 and we’ll help to see if other options might be available to help you with this or other issues.
Other important articles:
WHEN IS IT TIME TO SEEK ASSISTED LIVING – VIDEO PRESENTATION
WHEN IS IT TIME TO SEEK MEMORY CARE FOR MY SPOUSE/PARTNER?
7 SIGNS IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR ASSISTED LIVING
And just like you, I’ve been a caregiver.
I share my knowledge and tips to help seniors and families as they navigate the complicated process of senior living options.
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