These last several weeks have tested everyone. From moms with school-aged children to elders living alone isolated from friends and loved ones, we have all collectively suffered through this pandemic. With schools, restaurants, bars, social gatherings, and public events all but shut down, we are beginning to realize just how intertwined and dependent our lives are with one another.
For most of us, the initial idea of being quarantined with our immediate family was comforting. But as this has progressed from days to weeks we are all starting to feel the strain. Thank goodness for our pets!
For the countless people we’ve communicated with during the crisis, without reservation they have told us the hardest adjustment has been the abrupt removal of their parents from their daily life and the inability for parents to see their children and grandchildren. If they lived nearby in a senior living community and in pre-COVID times families got together frequently. Now, all that has stopped, and families are collectively suffering being separated from the ones they love.
HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT YOUR LOVED ONE FROM THE OUTSIDE
We understand it’s hard for you, but imagine how hard it is for them? They are sequestered in their small apartments, absent from their familiar routines and daily human interactions that brought them so much joy. Like the rest of us, many seniors are feeling claustrophobic and anxious.
So what can you do in collaboration with other family members to keep your mom and dad as comfortable and engaged as possible? We’ve got some ideas we want to share with you. Feel free to leave us a comment with other ideas that are working for your family.
1. CREAT A COMMUNICATION PLAN
Most of us have lost our sense of routine. I know that every day now feels like Sunday to me. Imagine how your parent’s feel without their routine? Now that every day feels the same, it’s easy to forget to check-in. You can avoid this mistake by establishing a regular communications schedule with your loved one.
A daily call after breakfast, a weekly FaceTime Sunday afternoon with the grandkids, a check at the end of the day to make sure all is well. Whatever you decide, if you create and stick to a schedule you’ll give everyone something to look forward to. In the end, this focus on creating a new routine will give you and your loved one’s peace of mind and break the loneliness and isolation they feel.
2. ENGAGE ONE ON ONE
Many families make the mistake to defaulting to the everyone-at-once call with grandma. Those are fine, of course, but asking family members to get in touch individually as well ensures you have an increased number of interactions, more opportunity for quality one and one time, and more eyes and ears assessing how your loved one is doing.
If you’re struggling to find a way to keep it interesting you could take this opportunity to have your children ask interesting and life telling questions and even record the answers for posterity. Here are a few questions they could ask:
- Tell me about your parents.
- If you could live anywhere in the world, where would that be?
- What was your favorite pet of all time?
- What was it like going to school when you were a kid?
- What was the happiest memory you have of being a child?
This is the perfect time to do some genealogy work too! Ancestry.com is loaded with lots of free information to help you on your ancestry journey. Recording your family’s ancestry is a fun way to work cooperatively with your parents and grandparents during the downtime.
3. CONTINUE DOING THINGS TOGETHER
Because of the technological advances and tools at our disposal, we can literally do almost anything “together”.
Just because physical distancing is keeping you apart, you can still recreate many of the activities you use to enjoy as a family virtually.
You can play online games, do yoga, eat dinner together, watch a movie, enjoy a cocktail, play music, and even cook.
Pre-COVID, these common, even mundane sorts of activities made up much of our interactions with our families and it’s safe to say it did you as well. In hindsight, they don’t seem so mundane anymore and we long for the days we can be together doing them. But until that day you can recreate them as best you can with the wonderful and free technology that is now readily available to just about everyone.
4. SEND GIFTS
Even though you can’t enter the senior living community, your packages can! Amazon, the post office, UPS, and many local businesses are still delivering. In some cases, you can even drop things off yourself. Check with your loved one’s community for specific guidelines before you show up with a package.
Send food, books, and care packages with fun and interesting items. Be creative — it need not be expensive. The pleasure is in the arrival of an unexpected treat and the reminder that those they love are thinking of them.
5. SEND SNAIL MAIL
Handwritten cards and letters are more special than ever, perhaps because electronic communication is increasingly supplanting them. Your loved ones can display the cards and re-read correspondence to remind themselves that you care.
CONCLUSION
This is an unprecedented time in our lives. For those of us who are separated from family, it’s both stressful and sad. There are ways you can continue to interact and support your loved ones who may reside in a senior living community despite restrictions on visitations. When you really think about it the creative solutions to stay connected are really endless. Remember, planning is the first step to ensuring your loved ones feel safe, loved, and well-thought-out.
DON’T FORGET THE SENIOR LIVING COMMUNITY STAFF
Workers at nursing homes and senior living communities are on the front lines of the coronavirus outbreak, caring for your loved ones.
Here are some ideas on how you, your family, and your loved one may want to thank them for their care:
Talk together as a family about what they might want to give or what they see as a need for staff. Talk with staffers about what they need or are allowed to receive.
Federal officials tell employees in senior living communities not to share pens and notepads. So a personal pen and pad that workers can keep in their pockets might be welcome. Bulk personalized pens can be ordered online in quantities of as few as a dozen.
Or think beyond the traditional baked goods and candy to items that are individually wrapped and can last a while: oranges, healthy snacks like nuts, instant drink or vitamin C packets to add to water, sugar-free gum, and tea bags. Staff also might appreciate bath bombs, hand soaps or lip balm for self-care; eyeglass or screen cleaners; little flashlights; tote bags; or water bottles.
Some places allow staff members to accept gift cards in small amounts or low-dollar scratch-off lottery tickets. But sometimes the most cherished thank-you is a personalized handwritten note, and send a copy to their supervisors.
If you and your loved one decide on a selection of items, loading them into individual plastic zipper bags can keep them safer from germs. If you drop by on the weekend, know that many centers give their workers every other weekend off, so you might catch only half the staff.
Be well!
Other related content:
HOW WE CAN HELP YOU DURING THIS CRISIS
7 SIGNS IT MIGHT BE TIME FOR ASSISTED LIVING
And just like you, I’ve been a caregiver.
I share my knowledge and tips to help seniors and families as they navigate the complicated process of senior living options.
- A CAREGIVER’S GUIDE TO HURRICANE PREPAREDNESS - August 6, 2024
- THE HEALTH AND SOCIAL BENEFITS OF SENIOR LIVING - July 23, 2024
- IMPORTANT JULY 4TH SATEFY TIPS FOR THE ELDERLY - June 26, 2024
